Decide what to be and go be it...

I went to the library yesterday. It doesn't smell like it should...the old book smell. When I was a kid I remember the whole place wrapping me up in the smell of books, old books. The kind you won't find at Barnes and Noble. And I love it. So much so that I checked out the oldest book I saw and spent a good two minutes tonight breathing in the smell of nostalgia.

It just so happens that I've also been really, really enjoying it. I checked out Steinbeck's The Winter of Our Discontent. I'm only about three chapters in, but I find myself really digging on the main character, Ethan. (btw one of my favorite boy names of all time ;p) The third chapter sort of centered around his insomnia which I felt was definitely a page out of my own life. It's nice having someone to relate to though I have a feeling something is gonna take a not-so-great turn for my friend Ethan. I'll let you know how it goes...

This song has been stalking me today and it seems appropriate for me right now. It kinda expands on a philosophy I'm working on right now tentatively titled "Do Some Shit." Let this sink in a little and dream on it:

There’s a darkness upon me that’s flooded in light
In the fine print they tell me what’s wrong and what’s right
And it comes in black and it comes in white
And I’m frightened by those that don’t see it

When nothing is owed or deserved or expected
And your life doesn’t change by the man that’s elected
If you’re loved by someone, you’re never rejected
Decide what to be and go be it

There was a dream and one day I could see it
Like a bird in a cage I broke in and demanded that somebody free it
And there was a kid with a head full of doubt
So I’ll scream til I die and the last of those bad thoughts are finally out