Sunday, March 7, 2010

My Stupid Mouth

One of the worst feelings I have in life is hurting someone I love. We've all done it, sometimes intentionally sometimes not so much. The accidental time suck, but the times I do it on purpose are the real knives to the heart.

When you're in the moment and are feeling angry, hurt, or backed into a corner who knows how you'll swing back. My ideal response is to breath deep and let it go. After all one of my biggest life philosophies is that everyone (even the person backing me into a corner) is allowed to feel however they want whenever they want. But sometimes the claws come out. Sometimes I say that thing that I know will hurt the most. And instantly I regret it.

I don't regret much in life...just because it's a waste of time. But deliberately hurting someone is the one thing I can rarely get over. Mostly because I know how it feels to be on the other end. When someone hurts me on purpose it breaks my heart, and I play it over and over in my head. So when I do it, I seriously hate myself for it. I hate that I can apologize and admit guilt forever, but that the person may never forgive me. I hate that they will carry around the memory of the stupid shit I said to them just because I couldn't shut my stupid mouth.

So here's some good advice we all should take: Whenever you feel the word vomit coming up, get the fuck out of there. Go do yoga, take a walk, phone a friend, have a cigarette, blast some music, whatever it takes. You'll thank me later.

Happy Birthday Morgan!!!!