The distance between excess and deficiency

Read Me

It's been about thirty some odd years that I've been on my journey of life. And I think I'm just now beginning to understand and appreciate the virtue of living in moderation. Aristotle speaks of virtue to be habit or a trained faculty. Saying that I've had to train myself to search for the mean in life is a huge understatement. He goes on to allude that the mean will be different for different people. That living in virtue and happiness is relative and not mathematical in nature. Thank goodness!

I have come to the conclusion that the only way to truly celebrate life and squirm around in the rich decadence that is waiting beyond every corner is to live in moderation. (most of the time) It seems really simple, but in this overindulging society we live in there are so many that take it to the extreme, myself included for these past 33 years. But I have discovered I simply enjoy pleasure much more deeply if it's special....and isn't that the point....to enjoy it?

"With regard to pleasantness in amusement, he who observes the mean may be called witty, and his character wittiness; excess may be called buffoonery, and the man is a buffoon; while "tedious" may stand for the person who is deficient, and "tediousness" describes his character. "

I had to read all the way to the end to make it to my favorite part. Since my focus lately has been on trying to extract pleasure from life.

I'm having a rough couple of days in the "joy-finding" department. I'm hoping soon to see how I can figure this thing out. Guessing and second guessing and third guessing myself is exhausting. And at the end of the day, I'm the only one who has to live with the consequences I suppose. As much as I seek moderation, I think it doesn't exist in all scenarios. I guess that would be all too easy. My brain is starting to smoke so I suppose this is all for now. I think I kinda took a turn for the vague, but oh well.

Just do your best ....

It's the only way to keep that last bit of sanity.
Maybe I don't have to be good, but I can try to be
At least a little better than I've been so far.

Those darn Avett Brothers get me every time. I think insecurity is an epidemic. Something we all lose some sleep over from time to time. It's rough trying to be everything we think we should be; it's probably downright impossible. I'm my own worst enemy, critic, nit-picker. And in that process, I become my own sabotage. (Now I'm singing Beastie Boys....I'ma set it straight, this watergate.)

But back to the point....We should let ourselves off the hook and some point, yes? This has been one of my continuing inner monologues lately, so if you feel I'm a little redundant oh well. If I can be a better person tomorrow than I was today, that will be my sanity. Trying is what matters, and I shouldn't be scared to try just because I think I won't be great. blah, blah, blah.

Now on to the nitty gritty. I did some pretty serious cleaning today. Serious enough that I found a dead lizard behind my couch. Like really, really dead. So dead I didn't even know if it was real. All of the cleaning reminded me of something: I hate cleaning. I swear that's why I'm happy in my itty-bitty apartment, less to clean. Oh, and I've been watching reruns of The Ghost Whisperer. It's pretty decent. I think I'm coming up to the last episodes and about to wrap around to the beginning.

The End.

PS The Avett Brothers concert is a mere month away, hence why there back on shuffle 24/7. :)

Rythmetic, acrobatic, She's a dynamite attraction.

I heart dancing. Big time.

The kind where I close my eyes and have no idea what my body is actually doing. The kind that makes you sweat. The kind I could be doing on a crowded dance floor just as easily as on my couch in my pajamas singing to the top of my lungs. The kind I used to do locked in my room while blasting Diana Ross's "Upside Down" from my Fisher Price record player.

It's happiness to me in the purest form. It's infectious and lives in my very soul. I don't do it enough. In the movie Elizabethtown Claire tells Drew to, "make time to dance alone with one hand waving free." Some of the best advice I've ever heard. Nothing much matters when I'm lost in the music inside my head. It's the best kind of bliss when a rhythm leaves you with no choice but to get up and shake it. Plus it's sexy as hell...not all the gyrating and grinding, although that's not too bad either ;). But the confidence to block out the world and just give in to the music, that type of attitude gets me everytime.

And in homage to a movie with a killer soundtrack give this a listen, and Let It All Hang out...

Red wine, mistakes, mythologhy....

Some interesting things happened today: I found a bath book I bought to give Heather for Gabi like five months ago, I saw a pregnant woman in a bathing suit/flip flops ride an exercise bike, and I've been cheating on the Avett Brothers with Jack Johnson. (Right now as I type actually) Speaking of the Avetts, I got my concert tickets in the mail Tuesday and I literally couldn't be more pumped!

Today was a low day for me in the continuum of motivation. It took some encouragement for me to get up and get to the treadmill. But I feel better now having done it, so thanks J. And just to throw this out there chilling on the couch watching Top Chef does very little for the mind, body or soul.

I've done really good with my summer resolution to seek out happiness. I think my low point was probably eating an entire Subway meatball footlong and justifying it by having Baked Lays and water with it. Did I mention I also had three cookies with it??? Oopsie!

This weekend is a full moon which will be interesting. Did you know all the full moons of the calender year have names? Yeah, and June's is the Strawberry Full Moon. I plan on living it up in honor of all the good that has been done this week, by myself and others. Maybe with some wine or more appropriately strawberry margaritas. So watch out world...

Decide what to be and go be it...

I went to the library yesterday. It doesn't smell like it should...the old book smell. When I was a kid I remember the whole place wrapping me up in the smell of books, old books. The kind you won't find at Barnes and Noble. And I love it. So much so that I checked out the oldest book I saw and spent a good two minutes tonight breathing in the smell of nostalgia.

It just so happens that I've also been really, really enjoying it. I checked out Steinbeck's The Winter of Our Discontent. I'm only about three chapters in, but I find myself really digging on the main character, Ethan. (btw one of my favorite boy names of all time ;p) The third chapter sort of centered around his insomnia which I felt was definitely a page out of my own life. It's nice having someone to relate to though I have a feeling something is gonna take a not-so-great turn for my friend Ethan. I'll let you know how it goes...

This song has been stalking me today and it seems appropriate for me right now. It kinda expands on a philosophy I'm working on right now tentatively titled "Do Some Shit." Let this sink in a little and dream on it:

There’s a darkness upon me that’s flooded in light
In the fine print they tell me what’s wrong and what’s right
And it comes in black and it comes in white
And I’m frightened by those that don’t see it

When nothing is owed or deserved or expected
And your life doesn’t change by the man that’s elected
If you’re loved by someone, you’re never rejected
Decide what to be and go be it

There was a dream and one day I could see it
Like a bird in a cage I broke in and demanded that somebody free it
And there was a kid with a head full of doubt
So I’ll scream til I die and the last of those bad thoughts are finally out

SUMMER 2010 DAY TWO

Welcome to Summer. :)

Just thought I'd share a little about how mine is going. Two days in a row of working out, so I got that going for me. One month of not working out prior to yesterday is currently kicking my ass. Today or tomorrow I plan on going to the library to see what delicious things they have to feed my brain. (Yes, I still check out library books. Don't even get me started on what a waste I think buying books is...) My plan is one biography and one fiction, something classic probably. And after that maybe I'll reward myself with Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang.

Today atleast I allotted enough time to kinda of cool down before I have to shower so I don't come out still sweating. Speaking of sweating this is what helped me through my last five minutes:

For now that's good enough for me.

Summer starts tomorrow, but if you live where I live you'd call BS. It's been so hot, and we've been getting these amazing summer storms. Ba-da-ba-ba-baaaaa, I'm lovin it! Loving the pool, the sun, the sweat, and the thunder at night. I'm also loving mixing in some peach bacardi wth sweet tea!!

I'm also loving that it's the half year mark...a good time to look back at what you've went through/accomplished/struggled with/loved/hated during the first half of the year and scrap it and move on. Screw the idea that January 1 is the only time to resolve to live. Today is a better time than ever because after all life doesn't have a tivo: it does not pause nor slowdown for any man. I'm wise enough to realize when someone has said best what I'm feeling so I steal the following from a much wittier person than I:

"For a few sunny and sweaty months, why not just shut the fuck up & suck on whatever makes you happy. For some that might be a breath of fresh air, for others it might be a tall glass of mental medication. Put a smile on your face. Or at least keep a gleam in your eye & wink it at someone once & awhile, just to let ‘em know that you’re in on it."

Thanks Tim :)

I think everyday can be our best day, if we just allow it to be. And if you can just decide that waking up each day and living a life you enjoy is good enough, how can you be disappointed? You can't. Period. The end. And that kind of pressure-free joy really opens up life to be so full and robust and ultra-luscious-sexy-satisfying. Afterall, eulogies rarely mention someone living a "perfect life" because on one really gives two shits about perfection in the end. What lingers is joy, love, friendship, and experience. So if you feel like it, start over tomorrow and let me know how it goes.

This song helps me breathe out when I get too caught up in myself. Maybe it'll work for you too.